More red flags than May Day in Moscow

The latest yahoo I have run into is the King of the Yahoos--you can't beat this story! He said he was an internal auditor for Shell Oil (and you know how I feel about oil companies--they're Satan's henchpeople, rapists of the environment, instigators of modern wars.) He was supposedly "in London" this week auditing the London office, and since London is 6 hours ahead of Chicago time, of course his e-mails and chats showed up at "odd hours." (Like, when his wife was asleep?) His photo showed a good-looking man with dark hair and a big smile. He said he was 6'2" and made over $150K (doesn't impress me, but I'm sure that was designed to impress a fair number of gullible women.) Oh, and tragically he lost his wife and three children in an auto accident in Arkansas two years ago! This is some guy with whom I e-mailed and chatted briefly, before I shut him down for the following reasons:

1. Couldn't write very well--certainly not at the level of someone who has a high-paying, sensitive job at a major corporation. His main form of communication was repeating "lol" or "yeah" over and over. That's a big red flag!
2. Said he also owned his own oil company which bought from wholesalers and sold to others, and he apparently bought from Shell--that's conflict of interest if you're an auditor, so I think that's bullshit.
3. Wanted to know when was the last time I had sex and how many men I'd been with but didn't seem to want to know anything else about me. That's just plain icky! So I decided to change the subject and asked him about his parents. See #4.
4. When I asked him if his parents were still around, said he grew up in an orphanage...
5. When I pointed out that he sounded like a character in a book and that I didn't believe him about #4, and what else has he done? Train elephants? Played on the 1980 Miracle hockey team? He shut down and I haven't heard from him since. Which is fine with me. I deleted him from my contact lists and from my search results.
6. Couldn't Google him because he had a really common name, but apparently doesn't show up in anything related to Shell Oil either. Hint: if you want to mess with a librarian, be prepared for the fact that we will thoroughly research you...
7. I think his photo is just some random male catalog model he scanned in, some good-looking dark haired guy in a black shirt. I won't be surprised to see "him" in the next Kohl's flyer I get in the mail. Still, whoever he is, he's a good-looking guy. ;-)
8. If you're supposedly conducting something as sensitive as an internal audit for Shell, how can you be e-mailing and chatting with strangers you've met online? Wouldn't you be concentrating on your work and unable to have access to anything that might be an outside influence? Hellooooo?

That's a lot of red flags and bullshit, doncha think?