If I had a coat of arms...

...it would say, "What doesn't kill me, makes me more sarcastic."

Cheesemaking and Permafrost On Mars

Remember the Iowa Test of Basic Skills that you had to take if you were a grade-schooler in Illinois in the 1970s? You know that one reading comprehension part where you read a bit about something or other and then you had to put in order the key points?

Remember reading about Cheesemaking and Permafrost On Mars? Now, why in the hell do I still remember all the steps involved in cheesemaking, and various facts about permafrost on Mars? Could it be...

A conspiracy? Yes, it's a conspiracy! I bet the school district wanted to implant us with one practical survival skill/food-making process in case of nuclear holocaust. Only problem is, let's hope there are some cows left after a nuclear war so all of us implanted with the cheesemaking process can put our tenaciously-held knowledge to use. We were implanted with the permafrost on Mars stuff in case the nuclear holocaust was so bad we'd have to colonize Mars, and permafrost may hold an abundant supply of fresh, potable water, according to the short excerpt I read. We weren't filling out those fecund ovals with our #2 pencils just for the sake of gaining a percentile of glory for our school; we were being implanted with valuable survival skills! At least that's my theory. If anyone has a better explanation for why we had to read up on cheesemaking and permafrost on Mars in the first place, and you can explain why the hell after 30 years you remember all this crap, let me know.

In the meantime, I am actually interested in making a farmer-style cheese at home, and you know what? I know what to do with the rennet, thanks to the ITBS!

You can hear the ocean in every piece

Have you ever wondered why coworkers bring back saltwater taffy to share with everyone even when their vacation destinations are completely landlocked? How big is the saltwater taffy industry anyway? Does it have a long and proud tradition of some kind? There must be a microhistory written about Saltwater Taffy. If there isn't, can we persuade Mark Kurlansky of Salt and Cod fame to write it?

Gail Borden Online

What was interesting about Gail Borden Online was discovering I'd already participated in a lot of the activities as a writer/blogger/performer/victim. ;-) I have done book review clips for YouTube, I blog weekly on the Good Reads blog, and my turn as a Confederate widow at the Lincoln Gala you can view on Flickr. Or right here...



I also am one of the friendly, chatty people answering questions on Ask Away Illinois, manning the Spanish queue once a week. So I guess I was Web 2.0 for a while without realizing it! For me the most fun was creating this blog, and as you can tell, I've had a lot to say and I will continue to express myself through this humble little blog.

I would like to do more podcasting. For one thing, some of us look fat, but nobody sounds fat. :-) We can offer book reviews, bibliographic instruction, menus of services, all sorts of delights via podcasting, and nobody needs to moan about how fat they look on YouTube. ;-)

Just eat the #$%@ing strawberry already

If you ever want to waste time on a professional level, i.e. make sure you never, ever get those hours back in your life, spend some time trolling the message boards on the Weight Watchers site. You will meet such an array of obsessive-compulsives, whiners, overachievers, underachievers, self-righteous Pharisees, and the just plain boring.

The people who obsess endlessly about whether they're going to eat another strawberry and need the support of strangers in cyberspace to "talk them down" are my favorites. It's a strawberry--just eat the fucking strawberry! It's a lovely little bit of fruit, pure sunshine and sweetness encapsulated in a petite red, luscious flesh. But some people think a strawberry will put them over the edge. On the other hand, these are the same people who will eat an entire tub of fat free Cool Whip and not bat an eyelash. Never mind that the stuff is most closely related to jet fuel on a molecular level.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with sarcasm: please don't consult my blog for scientifically-accurate information. All I hope to do is amuse. No, that's not true--I really don't care if you're amused or not.

Save Gas, Burn Ass

In my effort to reduce my carbon footprint as well as my caboose, I have been biking to work. I've been at it for almost two months, and I'm really enjoying it. Granted, the five minutes before I leave for work I'm in agony: "Ooooh, I don't feeeeel like riiiiiding to work," I whine to Oskee. (Whereupon he looks at me and points an accusatory paw at aforementioned fat ass.)

There are a couple of really fun hills to swoosh down on the way to work. On the way back home, there are a couple of killer hills...so I take a different route home.

My new motto is: Save Gas, Burn Ass! Or you could say, Burn Ass Not Gas! Either works.

All the hottest hits!

Here's something fun to do when you're burning up with a fever. Whatever your temperature is, find it on the radio! Right now I'm at 101.9, which I believe is The Mix in Chicagoland. Enjoy their live stream or Eric & Kathy in the mornings. I'm going to try and find some Aleve.

Social Media Networking

I signed up for the Good Reads social media networking site. I created a profile thusly listing some books I vaguely remember reading. I may keep up with posting what I've read, but I have no desire to interact with other readers online. Why waste time reading about what other people are reading when I could be reading a book? ;-) However, the library could use this site to post lists of books by genre or reading taste.

Now, I'd like to get back to my book... I'm reading Don't Try This At Home, about famous chefs' culinary disasters. Then maybe I'll cook something. ;-)

Wiki wiki woooo!

I wead about wikis wecently--hee hee! I learned how to post to one and edit a page. I submitted a title to a bibliography on women's history via the library's Tapestry of Freedom wiki. It wasn't too difficult.

I visited Library Success: A Best Practices Wiki. I liked the wealth of info available on readers advisory. Other sections were bursting with good info as well.

The "wibwawy" could use wikis in a variety of ways. They could be used for collaborative book lists, focus group discussions, online suggestion boxes, special programs, etc. Weally, we could work with wikis awot.

Signed,
Dat Wascawy Wabbit