Tie me up, tie me down

I wonder if I have it in me to be a bibliotrix, or dominabrarian? A cross between a librarian and a dominatrix, that is...

Loserville welcomes its newest resident, the Male Slave. Male Slave is such a nice guy--handsome, witty, smart, cultured--oh my, he sings opera! Loves to hang out at Ravinia! Is familiar with the entire ouevre of Monty Python! He gave such good e--I was half in love with his written word. Sigh...

Then the librarian detective in me decided I should Google his e-mail handle, and that's when I discovered he was a Male Slave Seeking a Dominant Female on a BDSM site! For those of you who are not as informed as I now am, that stands for Bondage/Domination/Sadism/Masochism. (In the library world, BDSM might stand for Bibliographic Descriptors Standard Marc, but let's not go there.) Oh my...I was devastated, yet I couldn't stop laughing. This was clearly another hello from Loserville! I found out more about this man from his BDSM profile--more about his non-sexual hobbies as well as the sexual--than I did from his Yahoo Personals profile. "Oh, he likes board games! I do too!" I sighed, before reading about his experiences with a constricting chastity device. (He does write well, I'll give him that...) I sent him a very nice e-mail telling him that I Googled him and discovered more than I really wanted to, and I just couldn't see myself whipping someone into submission. Besides, I think I may have some submissive and masochistic traits myself; I do work at a public library. The real dealbreaker was the fact that he was so stupid and naive that he used his email username on the naughty website! He couldn't come up with an alternative username, like SlaveBoy1972? Dumb dumb dumb...

Well, to wrap up this story, I guess there was a reason he wasn't replying to my e-mails as quickly as I hoped he would: he was probably tied up. Whatever his proclivities are, it just ain't my cup of leather.

Now as I stare out my window at my lawn that needs mowing, I wonder if perhaps I was too hasty in calling things off with him: I could certainly use a Male Slave around the house...